hello :)
Here we are again, in the year of 2021. Well, it's been a long journey for me, for real. Guess what? Im already 23 this years, and gonna turns 24 next year. Who would know this blog was already with me since 2010?
Looking back throughout these years, every year was the new experience for me... like i still manage to handle it, but i dont know untill when. With all these problems, and also with the pressure, it's freaking me out, definitely.
For this year, i almost got myself drowning in tears *which i already did* because of S. Why? I dont even want to remember the reason behind that. But that incident never fade away from my brain. And the pain? Of course it still hurt. Everytime i remember, i almost can believe that i experience that kind of pain again, or even more pain. It hurts right when you give someone the almost everything you had, but still getting shit. I know i know, i cursed a lot lately, but help me with this pain i can't handle it gurrrrrrrrr
But you know i have to move on even it's not easy. Accept the fact that the things happen, and continue to love like you never been hurt before. I still love him tho, no doubt. But now he's the one who will deal to my anxiety, how i am will be panic of evertyhing, overthinkin to the max, my rollercoaster mood 24 hours. I feel bad for him, but serve him right for making me like this.
Slowly... im going to trust him like i used to before, but what he suppose to know that i still love him despite his cruel behavior towards me *jokes i hope he will change 100% too, slowly but surely, right? despite everything, i know he loves me. dearly, fully, deeply, (he must or else im gonna curse him) jokes.
okay that's all. toodles.
